Hypocrite

So I am long over due for a post, but in my defense I did write one, just never posted it.  I wrote about how I have been encouraging my clients and friends to eat paleo.  I wrote about how I would tell them that they would loose weight, feel more energized, and watch their performances improve.  I wrote about my encouragement to them as they struggled with food choices and lifestyle changes.  I had no legs to stand on when I wrote that post.  I was a hypocrite.  I dabbled in paleo, but never really embraced it.  I never actually planned on being strict.  I never gave up dairy or sugar.  I never really even triedto eat paleo. 

I realized that I was explaining these wonderful side effects of eating paleo to people I cared about and the whole time I was missing out on them.  I decided to do the Paleo Challenge and give myself some legs to stand on when I pushed paleo.  Who was really going to listen to me if I did not practice what I preached.

Well here I am, the end of week two into the Paleo Challenge.  I am not going to lie, it is not the easiest thing to do.  I had to break some very comfortable habits.  Every morning I like three shots of espresso on ice and then filled up with milk.  Every night I like a handful of Ghiradelli chocolate baking chips and in the afternoon I love the ocassional chocolate chip cookie from Bolocco.  My esspresso is now bitter, my chocolates at night are now tea, and ocassional cookie is nonexistant.  This may not seem like a tough task but the first week I was in a mental battle with myself.  yes - have it - no - do not do it - back and forth.  If my sister Erica was not doing the challenge too I probably would not have been so good.  (If you didnt already know I like competition.) 

Week two rolled around and I found myself feeling great!  In fact, I even sneaked a bite of chocolate last night and threw it out after one little nibble...just didnt taste good!  My body is loving this new lifetsyle.  I feel great and I have lost weight.  I even find myself wondering if I will ever go back to eating "the other way." 

I am excited for the challenge to stay on tract throughout the holidays.  My weakness is cookies and if your father baked 15 different kinds of cookies for Christmas you would be in trouble too.  But I recently found a quote that I really enjoy and think of almost all the time.  This quote helps me stay true to the things I desire and it reminds me that I am responsible for myself, whether it be my diet, my workout, or my job. 

“I was thinking one day and I realized that if I just had somebody behind me all the way to motivate me I could make a big difference. Nobody came along like that so I just became that person for myself.”

~Unknown

Fight Gone Bad

In my one year of Crossfit, I have only had the pleasure of doing Fight Gone Bad once, until last Friday.  I first time I did it, I felt awful.  I remember not being able to catch my breathe and thinking that someone was not watching the clock closely because the intervals had to be longer than a minute.  When I finished my partner told me I scored 300 points.  I was convinced that he counted wrong and then I was pissed that I did not have an accurate number to try to beat the next time I did it.  Reluctantly, over time I accepted that 300 would have to be my number. 

I was slightly embarrassed when people asked me what my goal was this time around.  I was afraid that I would let myself down and not even make it to 300 points.  For me admitting failure to myself is the worst feeling.  If I did not make 300 points, I would be crushed, embarrassed first by myself, and secondly, because I told everyone my goal was 300. 

My game plan going into the workout was to aim for 25 reps on everything, except the rower.  That would be a minute of simply going through the motions with no force - a break.  This would guarantee me a score of at least 300, and it was an easy way for me to keep tract of my score during the workout. 

I need goals.  The workouts that I do well at are all goal driven.  I decide on a goal and then I get there.  I put my body through whatever it takes to reach it.  For example, during the Northeast Qualifiers, I heard that 7 rounds in the Burpee/thruster wod was the highest that was completed before I went.  My judge asked me what I was shooting for and I said 8 rounds.  She looked at me kind of crazy and nodded.  I thought I was going to die, but something in my head would not let me stop before I got to 8 rounds. 

I zone out during workouts.  I do not see what happens around me.  I see shapes and people but I do not focus on any of it.  I do not even hear any of it.  I stay inside my head.  I calm myself by concentrating on my breathing.  During breaks or pauses in the workouts, I make a very big effort to not listen or feel what my body is telling me.  If I were to listen for a moment, I would probably want to stop.  The second the idea of stopping gets in my head, it is all over.  I simply cannot think when I workout.  I can only concentrate on breathing and my number goals. 

My goal was set on over 300 points, and my mind was ready.  The clock started and I settled right into the workout.  It was challenging, definitely, but it was not hard.  Sure, my muscles got fatigued and burned, but mentally it was not bad.  I was in the workout and following my plan.  I hit more than 25 on everything except the rower in the first round.  Second round I found a rhythm and stuck to it.  Third round, go hard or go home.  I pushed the last of the effort out.  When I was done I was tired and breathing hard, but I was happy, because I would not be embarrassed to myself.  I knew I done more than 300, and I knew I would after the first round.  Secretly, I was not even surprised that I ended up with 366, I knew it would be around there. 

But this workout taught me that I have grown as a Crossfitter.  My mental edge and preparedness before the workouts has allowed me to grow and continue to push the envelop.  I was safe in my head during the workout, even though my body was screaming at me.  Never underestimate your mental powers.  You can separate the pain and be able to push through it.  I cannot tell you how to do it, but I can tell you it works.  Have a goal before you start, and concentrate on yourself during the workout. 

Thanks for cheering during Fight Gone Bad.  I could feel your support.  :-)

A Date With Fran

I had a date with Fran two days ago.

Patrick Cummings walks into the gym and says that we were going to do Fran today. It is so interesting the instantaneous drop in my stomach and shallow breath coupled with lightheadedness never seems to quit when Fran is around. I was happy until he showed up. Now I was sweaty and I had not even warmed up yet!

I, as do many other Crossfitters have a Love/Hate relationship with Fran. I hate her because I feel so aweful beyond belief. The kinda of aweful that your body should not feel unless you derive some sick pleasure from it. (Which I do.) I love Fran because despite making me dizzy, unable to make my eyes hold still, or pick myself up off the floor she gives me a great sense of pride in myself and what I do. I think Fran is one of the most rewarding PRs because you know ahead of time how much it hurts and you still go into it with everything you have, every ounce of energy, knowing very well that you will pay for it afterwards. Sword has two edges, pain and pride.

We did Fran slightly different from prescribed. After each set of pull ups, we took a 30 second rest then continued on. This was interesting because it was enough time to slow your breathing a bit, but not enough time to recover. The biggest perk was the mental edge. I was able to tell myself that I could go as hard as possible because I would get a break. It is like running through quicksand and then pavement. The quicksand is tough, but you see the pavement ahead and all you have to do is get to it. You know there will be less pain on the pavement.

What this workout allowed me to do was not pace myself. I did not have to pace my thrusters in order to avoid burning out. I could go hard on every set. I believe this is a great way to train your Fran time. This will teach you that mental edge of having the ability to turn off yours pain receptors and keep moving. My best Fran done prescribed is 3:38. I did Fran with a one minute rest and finished at 4:08. This means had I not stopped for the two bouts of 30 seconds I potentially could have had a Fran time of 3:08. This means that I can push myself harder and go faster. Looking forward to my next date.

2009 CF Games

I approached the games with no expectations. I did not even think of what could be or what it should be. I went just to experience it. I was interested, but detached. I wanted to see and meet the fittest people in the world, but I did not feel like I entirely belonged there. I went to see what I could do when the pressure was on and the pressure was definitely on.

WOD #1: 7K Hill Run

I hate running. There is nothing I like about running except the way you feel when you are done. I have one pace and it is very challenging to go any faster or slower for that matter. So since the 7K was the furthest distance I had ever ran to date, not to mention the super steep hills, I decided that my only goal was to not stop running during the race.

It was brutal. Toughest WOD by far. I passed a girl on the trail who was running and crying. Tears running down her face and sobbing. I saw three people fall off the trail because the trail was at an angle. One of them did not get up again. I saw people trying to climb the hills and sliding back down. I saw a person get kicked in the face. Cramps, passing out, and loss of leg control were very common.

The worst part of the race was the second straight away on the pavement. If I had not seen Libby Diabase in front of me it would have been harder to convince myself to keep moving. But at this point she turned into my goal - catch up to Libby. I did not catch up to her, but I did finish the race. I came in 40^th out of 74 females. I was just happy the run was over.

I finished the run in something like 54 minutes. We had 90 minutes to do the run and then start WOD #2 right when the 90 minutes were up. So I have about 30 minutes until I had to do a max deadlift. Surprisingly I felt pretty good after the run.

WOD #2: Max Deadlift

This was a really cool WOD. They had bars set up that increased by 10 pounds. The female weight started at 185lbs. You had 20 seconds to lift the weight and then move on to the next bar. Everyone lifted at the same time. It was great the crowd was going crazy! My goal going into this event was to get through 5 barbells which would put me at my max deadlift weight of 235. I figured that would be good after the beast of a run we just did. It must have been the crowd, the excitement, not knowing how much weight I was lifting, but something clicked and I lifted 295! A sixty pound PR! Now the lift was in now way pretty. I think I pulled it up one vertebrae at a time. I am lucky my back did not break, but the standards said that was ok!

WOD #3: Row 500 Meters, Hammer 3 foot stake into ground, Row 500 Meters

Going into this WOD there were many nervous people back stage. Everyone was talking strategy. Not many people hammer stakes into the ground for fun. The first heat of competitors had it the worst. They were like the guinea pigs. Everyone was peering out of the curtain or watching outside to see just how to hammer the stake. It did prove helpful to be able to watch it done before attempting. I learned that it was very important to make sure the stake goes into the ground straight, to watch out for my fingers, and if I missed the stake to get my legs out of the way fast.

I consider myself an alright rower so my attitude going into the WOD was more relaxed and excited to try something new. After rowing the first 500 meters, I realized I did not take into account how tired my legs would be as I carried the 8 pound sledge hammer and stake to the dirt. Now before this WOD Jon Gilson stressed to me the importance of getting the stake to go into the ground straight. I spent what felt like an hour trying to ensure that it was stable and straight before I actually pulled back an attempted any real hits. But it paid off, and I made good contact with the inch diameter that I had fixated my eyes on. When I finally got the stake into the ground, I literally had to reset my eyes from staring at the top of the stake so intensely. I think my eyes actually hurt! If only my eyes could have hammered that thing into the ground. Back to the rower another 500 meters.done. I felt like I put every ounce of energy into that rower.you know that feeling, it hurts.

WOD #4: 170 meter sandbag (35lbs.) sprint uphill

Before this WOD I knew who I was going to run with. Five competitors would go at once. Now I do not consider myself fast but when I know where the end is I can push hard to get there. I made up my mind to beat all the girls in my heat. In fact I think I actually beat one down physically during the run! Right before the run a friend had told me that I should throw the sandbag on my less dominant shoulder and pump my right arm as hard as I could. During the run I was pumping my right arm so hard that I kept on hitting a competition who was trying to pass me!! I did feel bad about this after the fact. But still I did win my heat!! At the finish line I collapsed, as did everyone. I did not know how I was going to do one more workout. It was funny I think everyone was feeling the same way because non of the competitors left the top of the hill and it just kept getting more crowded. I think we just did not want to walk down the hill! Some lucky ones got a jeep ride down.

WOD #5: 30 Wallball (16lbs, 10'), 30 Squat snatches (45lbs). - 3 rounds

I actually prayed to be cut before this workout. My poor legs were dead. Although I was lucky enough to get a massage from the therapists that were on sight all weekend. They were awesome, but John Z is awesome too!

We all watched as the first heat of guys started us off. They were having a tough time hitting the target and then getting squat depth in the snatch. The amount of pain on theirs faces was terrifying to watch. You know when you hit that wall and your body just says 'no.' It was happening all around. Guys were standing there waiting for their body to recover so that they could continue. At this point I wanted to puke. I remained in this state for what felt like 2 hours. I was experiencing a good mix of nerves and a feeling of 'whatever, let's just get this over with it is going to stink no matter how I look at it.'

So the timer finally starts and off my heat goes. My first round of wall ball was awful. I missed the target several times and could not find a groove. Before the workout I decided that my goal was to beat Heather Keenan in this workout. It just so happened that she was placed right next to me. She was off the wall for the first round of wall ball so fast that I almost gave up trying to beat her. I settled into a snatching grove and made up good time. By the time I got back to the wall I had caught up with Heather. It is very easy for me to zone out when I am doing workouts with a lot of reps. I somehow do not focus on how my body feels and I concentrate only on counting or hitting the target. I also pick a number to get to for breaks. I knew I would not be able to do 30 reps unbroken so I decided that I would do three sets of 10 wallball each time. My plan worked flawlessly. The only thing I remember very clearly about the workout is that my judge kept yelling at me every time I took a break, "You are a mover, pick it up and move!"

I finished the workout and reached my original goal. Before I could pick myself up off the floor a video camera came over and started interviewing me. I have no idea what I said and I can only pray that it does not ever get used in a video.

I had done very well in this last workout of the day. This is one of the reasons why I qualified for the final day. I was placed 14^th at the end of Day One. The top 16 moved on to Sunday. Relieved that I made it, shocked that I made it, and so stunned that I could not even begin to think what the following day had in store for me.

Sunday - Top 16 competitors

WOD #1: 10 minutes to get max snatch

WOD #2: 8 min. AMRAP - 4 parallette handstand push ups, 8 KB swing, 12 GHD sit ups

WOD #3: Chipper

I will not go into detail about these three WODs. But instead I will talk about the day.

In the Garage where the competitors waited the scene was very empty. Only 16 males and females were warming up. It was very quiet too. There were not many conversations and everyone seemed really tired. The list for the massage tables was too long to even bother. The anticipation of what was going to happen that day was heavy in the air. The camera team was busy interviewing many athletes. The volunteers, god love them, were running around preparing for the day's event. They had way more energy than any of the competitors.

Sunday was mental. My body felt alright. My legs were tight but that is nothing I have not felt before. My head was not in it. I had mentally checked out. I think I used all my brain power on Saturday and did not save any for Sunday. When I saw Neal I almost started to cry. My nerves were definitely getting the best of me.

The whole competition was different. People were not as chatty. On Saturday people were talking strategy and ideas on how to better the WODs, now they sat there in silence thinking of their ideas alone. This made me even more nervous. When I am nervous I tend to talk a lot and make excuses about the workouts I am going to do. But I did not really have anyone to talk to, and let the nervous energy out.

After the first WOD, I was very upset because I had a very weak lift compared to the rest of the competitors. I did PR my snatch by 5 pounds, but I did not feel that it was good enough. After the second WOD, I was in tears because I only got through 2 and a half rounds of the AMRAP. I did not kip my Handstand push up and felt inadequate again. In retrospect, I did the right thing because I actually moved up the ranks because of this WOD, but it just did not feel good. Going into the third WOD, I was so ready to be done. I was done before I started. Usually I would enjoy doing a chipper which happens to be a strength of mine. I remember standing there at one point during the chipper and thinking that I only had to do 30 burpees and some walking lunges and I would be done. Usually this would be motivating, but not that day. I could not put my hands on the ground to even start the burpees. My judge was yelling at me, I could hear friends yelling, I was yelling at me, and my brain was just saying 'I am done.'

Finishing this workout was the hardest thing I have ever done, but also the most rewarding. When I walked back into the garage all the competitors cheered and clapped, of course I started crying, but it was an awesome feeling. I was done. I had finished the marathon of the past two days. It was a tremendous feeling to be done and to know that I had successfully accomplished everything that I wanted and needed to do. For months this competition was on my mind. At times it was all I could think about. It occupied my mind for so long and so hard that when I sat down on the pavement and Neal started putting ice on my head I just felt numb. Everything was gone, and it was over.

The best part was when I looked up and Erica, Sam, Matt, Jon, Pat, and Jess were all there in the 'athletes only section' congratulating me. I could not have done any of this without them and their support. Never underestimate the power of other people. I would not have been able to do this alone. I needed Erica to believe in me. She is my biggest fan. I need Matt to be there. I needed Sam to tell me that I could do the Handstand push Ups. I needed Jon and Pat to give me pointers and prep talks before each event. I needed Neal to take care of me. It was a team effort.

Go to the Games. Go to watch or compete. You will see the best athletes putting everything out on the line. The amount of dedication, determination, passion, desire, and drive is overwhelming. I did not have expectations before the games. I did not expect it to be such a rewarding experience. Everyone there was there for the same reason. They wanted to see how far an athlete could be pushed, how strong they could be. The amount of heart was indescribable. This is something as a Crossfitter you will need to witness firsthand. That is my story.

So who wants to rent a beach house next year out in Aromas with me!?

First Post!

My one year anniversary for Crossfit is coming up in August. One year ago I attended the introductory classon aSaturday morning with every intention to steal ideas and then use them for my own personal training clients. I was not going to join Crossfit, I just needed to know more about it. After the workout that Neal gave us, he asked me if I was a trainer. I wanted to lie and say no (because I thought he would get mad at me - he is a big guy!), but I did not. To my sparse, heasked me if I was interested in working at Crossfit. I was flattered. I didnt know a single thing about Crossfit, but I knew when I walked into the gym and saw all the records hanging on the wall, the pull ups bars, and the simplicity of gym equipment that I wanted to be part of it all. That is how I got hooked. Since then I have been a sponge with a desire to learn more and push myself in a direction I never thought was possible.

Fast Forward one year, here I am now, having just competed in the Crossfit Games. Even though I remember the pain, the excitement, and the thrill of the Games, I still cannot belove that I was really there. It was kind of like a dream. It happened so fast.

One day during class, Jon said to me you should try out at the Qualifiers. He said my build, size, and ability would make me competitive. I laughed in his face and said maybe next year. But he got in my head and sure enough I couldnt shake it. I was going to try out at the Qualifiers. I started training harder than I had ever worked. Yea I had been working out my whole life, but now it was a challenge that I thought was way out of my reach and I was going to give it everything I had to offer.

The Qualifiers came and I won the competition. In my head I told myself I got super lucky and they picked workouts that I could excel at. The Games scared me and even though I wanted to qualify for them, I did not really think I was Crossfit enough to compete in them. My luck would surely run out.

To prepare for the games I dialed in on my non-existent diet and tried really hard to go Paleo. In the first week I lost 7 pounds, and realized my performances were spiraling downward. I increased the fat and I was back on track. I was discouraged during training because my chest to bar pull ups were not super strong, my muscles ups were few and far between, my handstand push ups were weak, and I was a slow runner (still am!). I planned on going out to the games, having a wonderful experience, learning from it, and then coming home to kick my butt for the next year's competition. My only goal was to make it past the second workout. If I could do that, I would be happy.

The Crossfit Games seemed like they took forever to come, yet at the same time came too fast. I was abundle of nerves, that never could have predicted the experience I was about to have in Aromas.

~stay tuned for the Games entry next~